What We Don't Speak of In the Public Halls
by Thorn In Your Side
Summary: In fact is for sale in the cheaper stalls. Avaric/Ama Clutch/Boq. smut So be afraid, for you have been warned. I call it CasualEncounterShipping!


**What We Don't Speak of In the Public Halls**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked. **

**A/N: Avaric/Boq is turning into something of a guilty pleasure. Not as bad as Artemis/Butler, but…fun. **

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

There are all types of people in this world, and every single one of them is made for a certain other type of person. And with that type of person, the first type will always be beautiful, will always be the embodiment of flawed perfection. But many people forget this as they grow older—many people start to lose their sense of self appreciation. Oh, being wise is all well and fine, but how many old biddies wouldn't trade their hard won pearls of wisdom for a romp in the fields with Uncle Flagpole?

This is the tale of a woman who rediscovers her beauty.

This is the tale, also, of the two young men who help her with it.

This is, however, first and foremost a tale of sex.

The act of debauchery you are about to read of is quite casual. And sometimes, that's what it takes to regain that self appreciation, so god damn it, let the woman have her fun.

Ama Clutch was _**supposed **_to be chaperoning her girls, but she was really watching two young boys across the bar. One was a luscious blond with a refined aristocratic gleam to his cummerbund; his friend was a ruddy farm boy with a frothing crown of chocolate curls. the good (well, bad, really, if you catch my drift) woman sipped coquettishly at her virginal drink (the last thing she wanted to be when chaperoning giddy adolescents was _**drunk**_) and made eyes at the pair.

Boq nudged his companion. "Someone's looking for you," he said teasingly. Girls were always looking for Avaric. The blond's head swiveled to see who was more entranced by his looks than the Kumbric witch's magic.

"At the bar," Boq supplied. Avaric's scrutiny shifted directions, and he raised his eyebrows in exaggerated surprise before turning to the Munchkinlander.

"Isn't it an _**Ama**_?"

"She. She's a she, for crying out loud," said the irritated Boq. He never could relate to Avaric's sense of superiority and consequent disparaging remarks to anyone lower on the social ladder. They seemed to be a part of the aristocrat as much as his ceramic skin.

"She's not ugly," Avaric considered, "Just…old. Besides, I think she's with those Crage Hall girls. She might let it slip if I do anything."

The brunet grinned. "But otherwise…?"

Avaric laughed charmingly. "I'd sleep with her, yes."

"You're a slut, you know that?"

The margreave's son pouted. "There _**are **_people I wouldn't sleep with! Most men, for example."

Boq did a double-take. "_**Most **_men?"

The blond tipped him a dirty wink. "I'd make an exception for the likes of you, I would."

The shorter male opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Avaric—you're…unbelievable!"

"And I haven't even touched you yet," the nobleman marveled, "How gay are you Boq?"

"Not very, let me assure you."

"Can you?" his friend's voice was suddenly forlorn and cunning, "I wonder, sometimes. About whether I'd…you know."

"Shockingly, I don't."

"Whether I'd swing that way," Avaric said with the air of explaining to someone that no, the moon is in fact _**not **_the residence of Doctor Evil. Boq wrinkled his nose at him.

"Avaric, you sleep with as many girls in a month as there are weeks. And you're wondering whether you like it or not?"

"I'm wondering if I'd like it better if the girl had a dick and no breasts," the blond shot back. There was a look in his eyes that Boq did not like one bit.

"What?" he asked nervously.

"Will you try it with me?"

"_**What**_?" the whisper was a scream.

"I won't force you!" Avaric said hastily, "Its just…I thought…you're my best friend, Boq, if I'm gay for anyone it'd have to be you. You're the sun in my sky."

"And somehow, I'm not comforted."

"Be a pal, Boq. Have sex with me."

"No."

"In the basement. There'll be no one there. Just _**touch **_me, alright? You've touched me before!"

"Never with the intention of making you orgasm!" Boq groaned.

"There's a first time for everything. You can't be so rock steady sure of your own sexuality Boq, not being such a virgin. I won't force you to do anything too uncomfortable—"

"This whole conversation is _**too uncomfortable!**_"

"—but I'm begging you. Let's ditch these boors and go pleasure ourselves."

Boq let out a despondent sigh, and Avaric knew he'd won. A single word would push him into submission, now…

"Please?"

"Oh, _**alright.**_"

Ama Clutch was nosy to an ungodly limit. When she saw the two young things leave, the farm boy blushing like an over ripe tomato and the blond in a state of fearful excitement, her curiosity bade her follow.

No harm in that. After all, _**stupidity **_killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A few judicious gold coins here and there opened the way to the basement for the boys, and the Ama followed by using her own brand of charm. The staff paid no attention to such a matronly figure, and soon there were three pounding hearts in the basement.

Boq faced Avaric uncertainly. "So…how do we…start?"

A tentative sort of tenacity stole over Avaric's face, almost instantly banished by an inherited authority. "You have no experience," he said sternly, "So I'm going to start as though you're a girl and we'll just pick up on what feels right."

"What feels right," Boq echoed. Before whatever sarky quip he was thinking of could tumble out, Avaric leaned in fluidly to kiss him.

It was a very mild kiss, and as far as first kisses went it was perfect. There wasn't enough raw passion to scare off wakening libidos, nor enough prose filled declamations of affection to make flighty hearts feel trapped. It was a demure plea for permission to do more from Avaric's side, a gallant acceptance from Boq.

Avaric's hands fell to the Munchkinlander's waist, and Boq's arms pulled the nobleman close, demanding action. The blond obliged eagerly, one hand trailing down to Boq's trousers and the other forcing him deeper into the kiss.

Ama Clutch watched, transfixed.

"Avaric," Boq moaned as his friend's hand found his waiting length, "Aaah!"

Avaric looped a leg around the shorter male's waist and rubbed their nether regions together even as his fingers stroked the brunet's aching cock. Deciding he'd given in to Gillikinese lad more than strictly decent, Boq lifted his other leg around himself too, stumbling back to brace himself against a crate of liquor.

Avaric gasped as Boq placed his hands firmly on his buttocks, inching his pants and underwear off enough to slide a finger into the unbearably hot slit between his cheeks.

"Shit," he whimpered, loosening and tightening his grip on the shorter male's waist. Boq sucked in his breath through his teeth at the way his dick responded to such a simple word from Avaric's lips. Maybe he was horny, maybe he was gay, he didn't care why; he just needed so much more than this.

Avaric squeaked when the stouter boy pushed him off and around, forcing him on all fours to the ground. The Munchkinlander practically tore his pants off, and Avaric decided he'd had enough.

"What the hell are you doing?" he spat.

"You started it," Boq said cheerfully, "You're always fucking girls, so now I'm turning the fucking tables around and you're gonna get fucked."

"Fuck."

"My sentiments exactly," Boq said, and jumped his friend. Avaric groaned and gritted his teeth against the disturbingly pleasant things his companion's tongue was doing to his chest, and said, "We'll need lube…"

"Say what?"

"Lubricant, you ignoramus," Avaric dug his nails into Boq's shoulders, "Aaah…do that again, _**please**_…"

"My pleasure," the brunet murmured.

"Boq, find something to put up my ass so your dick won't kill me!"

The shorter boy pulled away irately. "We're in the basement of a bar; take your pick!"

"You _**can't **_mean alcohol."

"Funny that, I do."

"Its—too—runny!" Avaric thumped his friend's chest with each word, the need for sex overriding most of his common sense and trammeling his courtesy.

Boq cringed away from the blows. "Fine, I'll go see if there's any cream!"

"No…stay…" Avaric's hands tightened over his, "We'll use something else…"

"What?"

"This," Avaric said, tickling Boq's shaft. The boy moaned as the aristocrat lay on his back and placed his cock at his entrance. The village lad made to thrust, but Avaric stopped him.

"Don't you _**dare.**_ I'll be ripped in half, look at the _**size **_of your thing! We'll make you cum there and I'll use it to prepare myself."

"A-a-alright," stammered Boq, who at this point would've agreed to scalding honey being poured into his navel if he thought it would achieve his release.

Skillful fingers played along his member, stroking and pushing all the right buttons. Already riled up, Boq's genital went _squirt _into Avaric's entrance. The margreave's progeny shoved away his sort-of lover and began probing himself tenderly with long fingers, legs spread and spreading the makeshift lube around as he whimpered.

"I'm…ready."

"About time," Boq grumbled. He grabbed the blond's hips and buried himself in the tight crevice.

There was silence.

There was perfection.

"Ahhhh…"

Avaric's head tilted up, trying to see over the curve of his own chest. "What's wrong?"

"You feel so _**good.**_"

Shudders snaked through the submissive individual's spine. "Don't say things like that…I'm going to cum right here and you haven't even moved yet…"

"I just had an orgasm, Ave, but the way you feel, I could have five more."

"Nice nickname," Avaric purred, "But only women can manage multiple orgasms like that. Now move."

Ama Clutch was tired of playing passive voyeur. She hadn't been this aroused in a good fifteen years, and she'd be damned if she let her arousal go to waste. And what better way to slake her baser instincts than to coerce these young gentlemen into having sex with her?

She stepped out of the shadows, and coughed softly.

There was silence.

There was pandemonium.

Pandemonium is quite hard to achieve with only two people—and those stuck in each other—but Boq and Avaric managed nicely. They screamed, scrambled, swore, and finally huddled behind their clothes to glare at the insensitive woman who'd so rudely interrupted their fun time.

"Relax, duckies," Ama Clutch said nonchalantly, "I won't be yapping about this to no soul."

The boys relaxed.

"On one condition, of course."

The boys tensed.

"It don't take a half wit time to figure out what you two were doin'. Now, I'll keep mum—forget that this happened—if I'm let in on the fun. I can hardly slander ye when the scandal involved me, can I?"

Avaric sighed and moved forward. The older woman held out a hand to halt him. "Not what I had in mind, duckie."

Avaric glanced pointedly at Boq, who stepped forth gallantly. Ama Clutch waved at him too.

"Not what I had in mind either. Come on lads, put two and one together!"

"Both of u?" Avaric was incredulous. Boq cottoned on and gaped cleverly.

"I have two holes, don't I?"

Boq made a hacking noise, and the Ama looked affronted. "Of course, if you rather this be in your yearly evaluation and sent to your folks back home—"

"No!" Avaric said desperately, "Boq!"

"I'll take her from the front."

"Bless your wee hearts, duckies!" Ama Clutch sighed. She undid the strings and buttons o her dress herself, and it fell away to reveal her aging body.

For a moment, regret and insecurity plagued her face. She was hardly a school girl; the stretch marks would testify to that. Boq felt empathy well up unexpectedly in his heart—no one deserved to doubt their body like that. The expression on her face faded to lust, and Boq felt his pity give way to arousal. He padded over to Ama Clutch on silent feet and cupped her breasts together and up. They were mournful, saggy baggies of lovelessness resigned to a life time on her chest, and Boq was surprised at his determination to show her that she hadn't lost the ability to be attractive.

Apparently, sex put him in a charitable mood.

He buried his nose in the gully of her breasts, breathing in her warm, welcoming scent. The Ama shivered and he called out, "Avaric, the lady's cold. Come warm her, won't you?"

The blond nodded and slunk behind the older woman, pressing his hot body against hers. His half erect flagpole nudged her bare arse, and Ama Clutch clutched at Boq's shoulders.

"Oh, duckies…"

Boq kissed his way to her jaw line, and Avaric nibbled at the nape of her neck. The Ama mewled and shuddered at their administrations, thanking her lucky stars for hormones, college boys, and those two very alert dicks nosing her.

Avaric reached between her thighs and stroked her crotch, eliciting an electrifying squeal from the woman. Boq grabbed her ass just as she folded her knees, and suddenly she was an Ama sandwich between the boys, supported by the brunet as the blond somehow managed to please both her and the Munchkinlander's shaft.

"Ama," Boq said in a bit, panting from trying not to ejaculate, "I'm going to abuse you with my tongue."

"What a gentleman you are, Boq," Avaric chuckled. His companion slid down to the lady's crotch. The aristocrat lifted her ass onto his dick and held her light form steady as the other boy licked tentatively at her. she moaned so loudly they thought someone might come to check, but no one did so she moaned again. All of a sudden, the pleasure was too much for her starved body to handle, and Boq watched her orgasm with a hungry look in his eyes.

"What is it?" Avaric whined, "This blows, you have a delicious expression on your face, Boq, I want to lick it off!"

"I can't wait anymore," the shorter boy declared, "We're going to fuck you now Ama, and if you have any problem with that you should say it now because once we start I'm not sure we can stop."

"Condoms."

The boys looked at each other helplessly. "We hadn't planned on needing them," Avaric said carefully.

"They're in a pocket in my dress. I brought them for the girls—who knew I'd need them myself!"

"What a resourceful creature you are," Boq laughed as he got the preventatives. He pulled on his own and assisted his blond friend with his, making sure to graze his length as slatternly as possible.

"Cock tease," Avaric accused.

"Maybe," Boq admitted.

They positioned themselves at her body again, and she paused to say, "You're real gentlemen, duckies, even if you are sinners," before thrusting herself against Boq.

Avaric grunted as he matched he movements, and after fumbling slipping out, and some colorful curses, the three of them managed to get a rhythm going. With two testosterone pumped bodies and an Ama's powerful thrusts, it wasn't long before they were all shouting names in the throes of passion.

"Oh, _**Galinda!"**_

__"Oh, _**Jamie!"**_

"OH, _**Grommetik!"**_

__The boys only registered what she'd called out when it was over. She kissed them both soundly on the lips and smiled with a benign air. "That was my first time since you've been born, lads, and I thank you for it. You make a girl feel beautiful."

"You make a man feel inadequate," complained Avaric, "Honestly, _**Grommetik?**_" but she'd already hobbled away, wincing from the aftermaths of pleasure.

The aristocrat shot his partner a crafty look as the brunet slipped into his shirt.

"Hey Boq…"

"Hmmm?"

"We did a good deed tonight. We made a woman happy."

"If _**that **_sort of happiness is a good deed, you'd be an archangel, Ave. but you're not."

"Still, I think we should celebrate," the city boy whispered seductively as he wound an arm around the other's waist.

"Oh no. I'm not gay, Avaric, and hot thought this was, I'm not doing it again!"

"Oh, come on, you know you want me—ow!"

"Keep your hands off my ass, you pervert or I'll chop them off, so help me!"

Avaric sighed as though dissatisfied as he watched his friend go. He'd just have to seduce him another day.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**First off—I am never writing threesome lemons again. They're overrated and complicated and I don't like them.**

**Second of all—Ama Clutch needed action, and I couldn't put her in a platonic relationship with anyone, hence this. Yay, casual encounters!**

**Thirdly—the bit at the beginning was the replacement for a different introductory paragraph that would've been more in tune with the theme of sex but pissed me off because it was so crass. Deal with it. **


End file.
